Read previous post first.... My phone isn't the best to blog from....

As I sometimes feel the need to mother yet feel comepletely secondary to her transitions and her needs. That I'm just along for the ride and need to be okay with that. That we are just going thru the motions of a relationship. Although I know thats not the case, it doesnt mean thats now how I feel sometimes.

So once again, it's been a while. I sometimes feel like my life spins out of control with no rhyme or reason. It has a tendency to make me incredibly emotional and spill over to all areas.

The stress that I have as a result of everything probably doesn't help also. My work is crazy and we keep getting threatened it is going to be outsourced to the Phillipines. Good, I know there are other jobs where I won't get yelled at for 10 per day and that won't carry over to my personal life. I've already started looking & hopefully find something soon. I'm even willing to do gross things like cleaning because at least it is honest money. Sometimes I wish I could tell my bosses to get off their horses & stop freaking out. If our parent company decides to outsource our jobs, there isn't much we can do. Having heart attacks won't help anything.

For the most part, Brandie and I are doing good. She's started her hormones (estradiol) and it's been interesting. Raging emotions thru both of us does not equal very awesome times. Our combined stress level is mad crazy so it's probably good we are both relatively strong people. I do get annoyed quite often because I want to be able to lean on her for support but feel as if I can't